I Should Just Stay Home...
In case you didn't know, I'm an ass. Do you ever have one of those nights where everything and everyone just annoys the living hell out of you? Actually not so much annoys, but just makes you want to be obnoxious?
Maybe it was because I had a coffee at 10:00 at night. I was all hyped up. I couldn't really drink because I was the DD (sucks). So instead I chain-smoked and stood outside and made rude comments to the drunk people. And sang songs really loud when people were talking (of course I mean songs that directly related to their name or topic of discussion). And then when they started talking again, I would sing louder. That's right. I was "that person". And I wasn't even drunk.
I guess in a lot of ways, I am feeling so anxious, yet free, that I had all this pent up energy. I think if I were a guy, I probably would've started a fight (as it was I think several people wanted to hit me).
I don't know what my problem was. But let me tell you something, I was on fire! I was like the Comeback Queen. My wits were not to be matched. Damn, I was funny. At least I thought so.
So I am going to a party tonight where I will be wearing a teeny-tiny costume (and freezing my ass off in the process).
Hopefully I will not be the DD tonight. It is so much easier to be one of the drunk people. As a DD you have to round all the drunk people up and wrangle them in the car and make them sit down. Seriously. My friend was doing backflips in the backseat. Okay not really, but there was so much noise and commotion she could've been. Out of control. Maybe that's why I was so bitter...I WANTED TO BE DRUNK AND SLOPPY!! I'm all over it tonight!
posted by MomMega: mothersmilkblog.com @ 11:23 AM
6 Comments:
First, I feel your pain! Ever since I decided to become a good citizen again, I've been the DD. 9 years worth. So I know how you feel when 'that feeling' gets you and you have no choice but to go nuts. It's pretty fun! Usually happens to me after a couple of Pepsi's/Cokes.
Second, I can't get the image out of my head of you singing really loud when people were trying to talk. That's funny! Maybe I'll try that one. Problem is, I don't sing well. I guess that could add to the effect though.
I love making rude comments to drunks. Most times all I get is "Huhh? Wash that yur shaying?" Makes it OK to say just about anything.
What's the teeny-tiny costume? Will there be pictures? (So shoot me. I'm a guy. Sheesh!)
Hmm, I was gonna ask if there would be pictures too. What does that say about me? Heh.
As someone who never drinks (but doesn't drive - ha!) I have to admit I kind of like being punchy and rude to people too when I am at loud places. Mostly malls though. I'm a 5 year-old trapped in a 28 year-old's body.
Next time I'm in CA (next time? how about first time) I'll come help you sing at people!
Maybe we should all come to CA and Mel can run classes in sarcasm...
Sorry, no pictures...Long story, I'll post about it.
I should teach Sarcasm 101...unfortunately, I am merely a student compared with CL. She is the true Sarcasm Jedi...
Yes, come to Cali anyway. Cat, I will take you to Jack in the Box (they have the best kid's meal giveaways) and J.B., I will take you for electrolysis for your facial hair. Then you won't have to cut yourself shaving!
Damn it, I should have dressed as a Sarcasm Jedi for Halloween! Stupid pirate costume...
I did however get a picture of me with a Jedi knight, that'll have to do.
you're back :) we missed you...
NO PICS? holy crap... that sucks.
i used to feel all self-conscious when i was the only drunk one... but being sober sucks... it's more fun to make an ass out of yourself... yeah...
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