Random Ramblings for a Tuesday Afternoon...

Wolverine exists and he works out at my gym. Seriously. No, really. He is a little shorter than I usually like them, but I am strangely attracted to his intense glare, gigantor mutton chops and bulging biceps. Hmmm…at least I have something to look at while sweating to death.

Speaking of the gym, I observed something very interesting last night. It seems that there are a large number of “girls” that go to the gym for the sole purpose of prancing around in as little clothes as possible. They have cute hair and make-up and matching little shorts and bra tops. And they never sweat. They never sweat because they don’t work out! I saw two such women yesterday! GG #1 (Gym Groupie) struts in and proceeds to talk to one of the employees for a good 10 minutes. She walks over to the elliptical machine and “works out” for about 10 minutes before patting her face and walking OUT OF THE GYM! Here’s the kicker though: she is prancing around in her cute little outfit, right? As she steps on the machine in front of me, I notice that not only is she wearing granny panties, but they are all bunched up and hanging out the top of her pants!! HA! I almost fell off my machine I was laughing soooo hard! GG#2 didn’t attempt to pretend that she was there to work out. I observed her for a good 20 minutes. All she did was move to different areas of the gym every few minutes and STAND THERE! Pretending to contemplate which machine she should use next. I was a little sad for her.

Do men honestly believe that if they leave at least one square on the toilet paper roll, they are not responsible for changing the roll? Please explain this to me.

Also, I am wondering if anyone out there has ever been in, or known anyone in, a pageant. Our hotel was filled with these “teeny-queenies” last weekend and I just don’t get it. It brings up so many questions of self-esteem, self-worth, self-tanner. These little girls had more makeup on at one time than I use in an entire year! It was freaking me out.

If you are on the phone with me and maybe we are arguing, please don’t hang up on me. It makes me angry. You thought I was bitchy before? Oh Baby, you just don’t know…