Last One, I Swear!

So I really want to get out of my funk and only post happy, peppy posts (that was fun, said it out loud!). However, something really hit me this morning. During commercials on my normal morning station, I flip over to a different station and listen to Jamie and Danny. This morning Jamie was very serious in talking about relationships. She was talking about being honest with your SO and that if you didn't love them the same way anymore, it was more fair for everyone involved to just tell them that. Hmmm...honesty and fairness. What a concept. She then goes on to say that she was such a coward when she was in the same situation. And that right now there are a lot of people who are just going through the "marriage motions" right now. How true. But where do I go from here? Do I tell P, hey, things have changed, I'm sorry, please forgive me. He says yes and all is forgiven and there is no guilt. And then I wake up. I know him. I know he is just waiting for me to make the first move so that he can say that I left him and he is the victim. So I guess that is how it is going to be. I will be the bitch. I will take that title. What else can I do. He has told me that our relationship is "pointless" and that he wishes we weren't married so that it would be easier to walk away. What I tried to explain to him was that whether he knew it or not, he walked away a long time ago.