Denise Richards: A Disgrace to Womankind
Let me start by saying: "WHERE THE HELL HAVE I BEEN?!?!" I seriously think someone knocked me in the head and stuck me in a closet for six days. I had no idea I had been gone so long. Yet, I felt empty. Like a part of me was missing. My Blog friends are part of my heart and when one of us leaves (including me), my heart is sad. Boo.
Alright, enought of that. Let's get down to the important stuff. Playboy. Has anyone seen the latest issue? Denise Richards is on the cover and in the centerfold. When she first came on the scene, I disliked her. She can't act her way out of a paper sack and she is just too "perfect". You can't tell me she didn't pay big bucks for her cute little button nose, her perfectly plump lips and her unnaturally round and perky breasts. Yeah, that's what I thought.
So, in Playboy she goes on to "talk" (and I use that term loosely because I am pretty sure that she just read verbatim what her publicist wrote out for her) about how amazing her body looks only 3 months after giving birth.
Whatever. Any woman would look that amazing if they had someone to come in and cook all their meals for them. If they had a trainer that came to their house and worked out with them 6 hours a day. If they had a nanny to actually take care of their baby so that they could work out with said trainer. And get a full night's sleep. A wet nurse to feed the baby so that their own boobs wouldn't get saggy and deflated (although, she probably can not produce any milk due to the overabundance of silicone in that area). A good graphic designer to airbrush out any of the horrible parts.
It's just not fair. Not only do celebrities get out of drunk driving, drug charges and murder, they actually get out of being a woman. HMPH!
posted by MomMega: mothersmilkblog.com @ 1:51 PM
7 Comments:
Speak of the devil. She was just on the Bondathon. I saw her and all I could say is 'ewww.' Maybe they can't find anyone else to pose these days.
When I'm rich, I'm buying a personal airbrusher! hee hee.
Hmmm, I think that *someone's* boyfriend might have recently mentioned that he kind of likes Denise Richards...
Well Mel. I'll just have to give this issue of Playboy a look. You know, just to give it the analytical male perspective. It sounds like something I need to do for my lady blogger friends. I'll get back to ya on this one.....
I think all these female celebs who are suddenly back to being a size negative 2 a month or so after they have babies are a disgrace. I've been trying to lose 30lbs for months and it's not working. Stupid them.
The only one I've seen still with baby-weight is that lady from Charmed (Holly Marie Coombs?) You know, Piper. She's still nicely chubby this season. Of course she did look like she might have been having a baby elephant when she was preggers, but still.
I've called in a few personal favors, and Denise Richards' deal with Satan to remain beautiful until her death has been anulled.
At the exact time of the anullment, she aged approximately three hundred years spontaneously. Twenty-something my ass!
So... watch out, Geriatric Playmale Magazine, here comes Emaciated Skeleton Woman Denise Richards.
Cat, don't feel bad. Leah Remini from King of Queens is still big after her baby. Supposedly they asked the husband to gain weight so she doesn't look so out of place. I don't see what the big deal is, but they try to hide her now that she has "baby fat."
good god! i've been saying that to steve forever now!!!!
Post a Comment
<< Home