The Mel Mega Diet
Forget The South Beach Diet. Screw Atkins and his carb-hating ways. If those dillholes can create their own diets, I'm gonna create my own. It's going to be the new revolution! People will refer to me as "a healthy-living guru" and "pure genius"! So, what's the catch?
TINY FOOD
Yup, you heard it. Tiny food. Anything goes, as long as it is miniature. As I was coming up with this concept, it occurred to me that there was a ridiculous amount of tiny food in the world. Enough that I truly believe I could eat nothing but tiny food for several weeks.
Here is my list so far:
- Mini Quiches
- Cocktail Wieners (aka Lil Smokies)
- Mini Wheat Thins
- Grape Tomatoes
- Pearl-size Mozzarella
- Baby Gherkins
- Baby Corn on the Cob (You can eat it like Tom Hanks in Big)
- Peas
- Sardines
- Frosted Mini-Wheats
- Mochi Ice Cream (small enough)
- Sushi (as long as it is one-bite)
- Mini Chips Ahoy (or Cookie Crunch cereal as dessert)
- Tiny Tootsie Roll Pops
- Hershey's Miniatures
- Hershey's Kisses
- Airplane-size bottles of alcohol
- Shrimp (NO Jumbo Shrimp)
- Mini Doughnuts/Doughnut Holes
- Popcorn
- Broccolini (no stems)
- Oyster Crackers
- Miniature Marshmallows
I think you get the idea. Everything should be bitesize. There should be no utensils required. Everything you eat should be able to just be popped straight into your mouth. Ladies and Gentleman, I believe I have made a wonderful discovery. I am going to change the world. Please let me know if you have further miniature food ideas, and I will thank you on the first page of my book (the book that will change the way the world eats)!
posted by MomMega: mothersmilkblog.com @ 10:04 AM
11 Comments:
The real question is, "Will this diet make me constipated??" :P
i like the way you think. i could eat inordinate amounts of food... as long as they're mini. that's fabulous. you are a friggin' genius.
champagne grapes.
cherry tomatoes.
that chicken popcorn from kfc. never had it, but i think that counts for this diet.
I love the mini Reeses cups. They could be part of a mini dessert. And how about those tiny potatoes and the little bagel pizzas. Hey, I think you are really onto something here!
Sign me up!! I love Frosted Mini-wheats and bite-size chocolates. you rock!
Ooh yeah, popcorn shrimp and popcorn chicken! And don't forget Chicken Littles from KFC (do they still make those?).
Grace, you totally reminded me of something: the little bottles of champagne! They're tiny, too!
CL, yes, the mini Milanos are delish!
The best part is, you don't feel so bad if you eat five or twenty because they are soooo tiny and cute, they can't possible be bad for you!
This diet keeps getting better and better!!
Hmm...you could be on to something here. May I ask why you are on a diet? You look thin in your picture.
You know they have mini cadbury eggs now....
I just like the idea because I'll be able to place a doll beside the tiny food, smash it to pieces and scream "Die puny humams!" before grabbing a handful of the food...
And before anyone says it - no, I don't play with dolls...
Nor am I psychotic...
Except on a Tuesday...
Ian, you crack me up.
Mel - did you know you can't get Oyster crackers here in Quebec? Don't know about the rest of Canada, but, nope to QC. Also, no poppycorn shrimp either. They took all our Red Lobsters away. Sniff.
As a member of the 5'1 gang... YAY for mini foods! I feel big!
Nina - not really a diet, I just want to feel big when I eat my food (I am only 5 ft) and what better way than to eat tiny food!
Ian - it's okay if you play with dolls...really (*stifling hysterical giggles*)...we won't tell anyone!!
Cat - No oyster crackers in Quebec!?!? What the hell do you put in your clam chowder? Or your minestrone? Those crazy French-Canadians!! They'll do anything to keep you down!!
... I wuv my wittle dolwie...
The pendulum is already swinging back. Frosted Mini-Wheats are now "Big Bite" size. They super-sized the mini-wheats so now it doesn't fit in your mouth anymore. Is nothing sacred?
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