That Bitch Took My Money and She Went to Chicago!

My friend Renee rules. She is the only one that I can bribe with cigarettes, Diet Coke and the Violent Femmes in exchange for riding bitch on the great apartment hunt. She doesn't freak out when I slam on the brakes and swerve to the right or make a sudden u-turn because I see that little red sign. Plus, she has eyes like a hawk (have I mentioned how irritating it is that people write teeny tiny on signs?). Please note the following conversation that took place today:

Renee: "Look! There's one!"

Mel slams on her brakes, throws the car into reverse and flies backwards

Mel: "What does it say? Why can't anyone in Long Beach find a Sharpie that's not running out of ink?"

R: "Okay, let's see...it either says large studio...or large salad..."

Mel chokes on her Diet Coke while trying not to spit it out.

M: "Hmmm...I wonder how big the chicken is in the salad?"

R: "Yes hello, I'm calling about the large salad for rent on 1st and Orange. Yeah, how big is the chicken, uh...I mean kitchen???"

M: "What's that you say, the bedroom is small, but there is plenty of room for a large crouton in the living room?"

R: "Excellent."

M: "Excellent."

Hee. Renee makes me giggle!