Just Let Me Get This Off My Chest...
I am losing my mind! Every day this week I have woken up and thought it was Saturday. And then I realize it isn't. So I lay in my bad and spew out every awful word and phrase I can think of. After about 15 minutes of that, I drag my sorry ass outta bed and into the shower. Where at least 10 more phrases pop into my head and I yell them out. Hmmm...I wonder if my new neighbors think I have Tourette's? I think I am going to play it off like I do. I am just going to walk around my apartment and drop f-bombs and call the people on TV whores and A-holes. All day. Every day. Because I can.
So back to my confusion about what day it actually is. The worst part of this whole story is that is doesn't really matter if it is Saturday or not. Because I work on Saturdays. Granted I don't have to go in until 11, so I do get to sleep in a little. But I still have to get up and get shiny and clean and make happy at all the couples that are about to ruin their relationships by getting married. Sorry! Not true for all married people, I guess. Some people actually marry other people that are nice and care about someone other than themselves.
Which brings me to my next topic (I swear, I have had no champagne this morning). I am completely losing my faith in humanity. I know that there are decent people out there who genuinely want to do something nice for someone, just because. But it seems that more and more, people do something nice for someone with the expectation that they will be getting something out of it. It's always a trade-off of some sort. Now don't get me wrong, I am more than happy to help someone out and happy that they will help me out when needed. I am not talking about favors like driving someone to the airport or helping them move (grrr)...although sometimes it involves things like that.
I am talking about emotional things. Mental support. Is it worth my time to help someone through a crisis when I could be home watching the Apprentice? Why would I drive 30 minutes to see my friend who is going through a very rough time, when I can stay in my bubble in the OC and just send her an email? I swear, these things actually go through my friend's heads. Do you know how many friends have come to see me in the last 6 months or so? One. Just one. Do you know how many phone calls I have received from friends who have said "I know you are going through a rough time, why don't we go to dinner or have drinks or something?" One. And it was from Grace (God love her!). Who I have only "met" once.
Maybe I am just as bad. Maybe I am so wrapped up in the stupid drama that is my life that I haven't stopped to think about what my friends may be going through. I guess its fair to say that. But I know that if one of them were going through something as major as I am, I would do what it takes to make them feel better. I'm not saying I'm a better person or friend, I just know that if one of my friends is sad, it makes me sad. And if I have to drive to South OC to take them to dinner, then I will fucking do it. But geesh! You'd think I lived in Siberia with how often my friends come around. And it gets thrown right back to me "well you never visit us"...True, but I also work up to 10 hour days, sometimes 6 or 7 days a week. And in case you hadn't noticed I have been in the process OF LEAVING MY HUSBAND AND MOVING ALL BY MYSELF!
Fuck.
posted by MomMega: mothersmilkblog.com @ 9:12 AM
6 Comments:
I aopolgize in advance if this offends you but those people sure don't sound like real friends to me. Neither me nor my circle of friends would act that way. I've been called more than once in the middle of the night with 'friend crisis' and have slapped on the sweats and cruised out the door.
A friend, to me, wouldn't think of themselves before thinking of you.
I wish I lived closer. I'd like to help you through this mess. All I can do is wish you well and pass along some blog support.
BTW, Grace is cool, isn't she? Good job Grace, checking up on Mel.
I would also like to clarify that when I was in NoCal, CL did call and text message me several times and offer a place to get away from it all. And I have never even "met" her. She rocks, too!
sorry to hear all of that... if i knew where you lived, i'd for sure go up there and stalk ... i mean, visit you!
:) gimme a call sometime when you have time. i know you have long work hours... but i'm always free... i don't have any hobbies :P
if i had your number i'd so call you. ihave your address, maybe i'll just show up? :)
you have us. we all love you!!!
Mel,
=( Sucks, dinnit? But when things like the awareness of who cares and who doesn't come upon us, it shouldn't only shake our faith, but also teach us the little things in life. As in one flower is so grand to smell as a whole bouquet is.
(Oh, there's another Frenchie word!) But I do hope you get what I am saying. The single flower in this case is Grace.
= )
Sorry you're having so many troubles with your friends Mel.
Most of my friends are married or live far away, so I don't really bother them. If they needed me, they know the number, and I would do what I could to help. I guess I just don't keep in touch with many.
One friend that I do try to check in on every now and again is either too needy or doesn't have time for me. It's a weird relationship, but I like when she's really busy. She knows I would help her when she needs it though.
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