WARNING!!!
Last night I had dinner with my mom and my cousin. As we are leaving the restaurant, my mom starts walking over to her car. She announces to me and my cousin "I need to check the back seat and make sure that there isn't a racist in my car."
Apparently, there is a growing problem of racists sneaking into the back seats of unlocked cars. So please, for your own safety, be sure to lock your doors. If you are a woman, park in well-lit areas and always get someone to walk you to your car. If you are a man...well...perhaps you should follow the same advice. There doesn't seem to be any information that would lead us to believe that these racists are targeting women only.
Let's all work to keep each other safe!
posted by MomMega: mothersmilkblog.com @ 9:12 AM
9 Comments:
how about the helpful advice of LOCKING your car? :)
is that for real, though? did she accidentally use the wrong word? that's scary!
can i just say ... oops. i missed that line where you told people to lock their car doors. heh. um. my bad. :) i'm also on the phone with customer service trying to find book information. apparently i can't multi-task at the same time...
Damn racists... I found a couple in my back seat a few days ago eating a bucket of KFC. Just play some hip hop music and they scatter like roaches
Well if the car is locked I just slip under and wait for the person to come back. Then I cut their ankles with my switchblade and start yelling racial slurs. It's really a good way to spend a Friday night.
That explains it! When I was in California a few weeks ago, before I got sick, I got into a cab and all I heard from the back seat was "Stupid Irish Fucker! Stupid Irish Fucker! Stupid Irish Fucker! Stupid Irish Fucker!"
I thought it was just the rhythm of the road, you know? Now I know better...
How would I be looked at? Let's see, I'm 1/2 Korean...and 1/2 German...hmmm, hopefully I won't have to find out. That's freaky, thanks for the tip!
When I got in my car the other day, I saw a white pointy hat in my rearview mirror.
I immediately jumped out and told them to go pimp my ride, crackers.
Did your mom really say racists? This story made me laugh-nervously.
Racists? ...um...uh...okay, here's what you do:
Say you're in your car, and out from the back seat pops a white racist. While complaining how about the "heebs" have all the money and the "darkies" leech off the system and how the "wetbacks" are taking jobs from good hardworking white americans, quickly change your radio station to a country music station.
Having successfully offended the three main groups should lull him into a sense of complacency and false sense of comeraderie.
Ask the racist if he would like to go "can" kicking (as in afri"can", mexi"can", any racist worth their salt will know the term).
Next, proceed to USC.
Unlock rear doors as you proceed east to skid row.
Turn sharply spilling racist into the street and pronouncing loudly that the Grand Dragon has sent this man to clean the streets of the lesser races. Make sure you change the radio to a more geographically suited station and blare radio to let the native people of the area know that you are one of them.
Proceed speedily home.
If any other racists are found to be in your car remember the most important phrase you can ever learn: F**KIN' KILL WHITEY!!!! Make sure you learn to say these words with conviction and you'll be okay.
This is a public service anouncement by your Friendly Neighborhood Mighty Anonymous.
Damn, the comments made me laugh just as much as the post.
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