Friday, June 24, 2005

The Moral High Road

“…He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone…” John 8:7

Now, you all know that I am not a very religious person, but lately this piece of scripture has been floating in my thoughts. Last time I checked, we were all human. As humans, none of us are perfect. We all make mistakes. We all make bad decisions. We all hurt other people, either accidentally or intentionally, sometimes both. At least once or twice during the day, I am reminded of my imperfections. I thought that most people were. I was horribly wrong.

I am amazed at the number of people that have nothing better to do than sit and ponder the imperfections of their fellow beings. People who feel that they have a right to meddle in other’s personal affairs, who think that they know a better way to live that person’s life. Perhaps they feel that it is their moral obligation to step in and correct the actions of a lost soul. It makes them feel good about themselves. Makes them feel charitable. And perhaps it even makes any guilt that they feel for previous wrongdoing just melt away. It makes it easier for them to look at themselves in the mirror in the morning, because, damn it, they have set a Sinner straight. And even if they have not come in direct contact with said Sinner, they have made sure that those around the Sinner are fully aware of the actions, sins and mistakes of the Sinner. It is their duty, their right as a morally superior person.

Never mind that more often than not, the path of getting the word out there is often filled with devious action and petty backstabbing. That doesn’t matter, as long as the message is out there and the “S” is branded.

Here is what I don’t understand: Yes, it’s true, I am not perfect. But you know what? I never claimed to be. I just want the people that I love and care for to be happy. Even though I may not agree with all of your decisions and the way you live your life, I will not say anything to you, or anybody else, about it (unless it is seriously self-destructive and professional help is necessary). If you want to sleep around, go ahead! Want to quit school to raise llamas? More power to you, I hope that makes you happy! You are an adult and perfectly capable of making your own decisions. Only you know how to make yourself happy and at the end of the day, you only have to answer to yourself (or God if you are religious). Who the fuck am I to determine what you should or should not be doing? Who the fuck am I to decide that your decisions are bad and fuck your happiness, you need to do the “right” thing? Who the fuck am I to decide what the “right” thing is?!?!

Part of making a mistake is learning from it. Picking yourself up, looking around you with fresh eyes and deciding to get out and try again to do your best. In the past year and a half, I have learned so much about myself and relationships and other people. And not just about the other person in the relationship. I learned about how other people react to the idea of imperfection. The idea that being in a relationship does not automatically equal happiness. And that moving on and finding that happiness scares other people. Because that means that everything that society has told them will make them happy, may not. That they might fuck up, that they might make a mistake.

Today my mother reminded me that I had previously told her that I would not let the actions or opinions of other people stand in the way of my happiness. I was wounded and forgot all about that. But I am back on track. So if anyone disagrees with how I live my life, please keep your opinions and comments to yourself. I’m not going to hear it, because I will be out finding my happiness. I hope you can someday find the courage to do the same.

17 Comments:

Blogger grace said...

i thought you weren't going to tell anyone about my llamas? :P

hey... fuck 'em all... i'm glad you're finding happiness... :) you deserve it... no matter what anyone else might think or say... :)

xox

11:01 AM  
Blogger MomMega: mothersmilkblog.com said...

Dude! Your comment totally put dirty thoughts in my head! I don't know why, but for some reason I just thought of a good game: "Honey!! Let's play Find My Happiness!!!"

HAHAHA!!!

11:10 AM  
Blogger cat said...

i love my llamas. do not judge me.

great post. not just because it mentioned llamas (and that adds to any post, yo) but because of the sentiment behind it.

you have to decide to be happy for you. it's hard. mostly we're trying to make everyone else happy. happy for you first.

11:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am sorry you have had a bad experience with Christians where you are at, but there are some sincere Christians in this world that do not judge you. Whether you are religious or not we are have to answer to God one day. Then when that days comes what would you say if God posed the question to you "why should I let you into Heaven"? no more excuses can be made. The most importantdecision you have to make is do I want to go to Heaven or Hell?

I accept you for you, but do not judge me as a Christian just because there are some bad Christians. We are not all like you think! You continue to read the Bible and then i will try to answer any questions you may have!


Blessings,
Jimmy
John 3:16

12:06 PM  
Blogger MomMega: mothersmilkblog.com said...

Cat: So now we know llamas = Cat's happiness!! Hee hee!

Jimmy: I appreciate your thoughts, however, this post has nothing to do with Christians at all. The fact that a scripture or God is mentioned is purely coincidental. I have no issues with any Christians. I was simply referring to people who feel that they are morally superior and they can be any religion!

12:12 PM  
Blogger grace said...

HAH! i guess anything and everything i say should just be construed as dirty. because it most likely is...

even though i didn't mean it that way... but now i do :P

2:19 PM  
Blogger Rarry said...

YES!!! ..Ive totally been waiting for your blessing to sleep around Mel.. Any takers????

2:51 PM  
Blogger Oddgirl said...

I'd be careful Lar, I think Mike was eyeing you...

Mel...I really don't care what you do as long as your happy and I can come with...xoxoxo

Fuck everyone else...except a select few...you know who you are...

OH, I kind of like being cryptic...I wonder if that works in the sack...

3:41 PM  
Blogger Yankeebob said...

Good call Mel. Live your life and find your happiness. This quote: "Because that means that everything that society has told them will make them happy, may not." is seriously true.

Damn people who think they know everything. They are really irritating to those of us who actually do.

5:30 PM  
Blogger SJ said...

Mel, I am hesitant to quote religion at you, but one scripture comes to mind in relation to other people's petty snipes -

"Fuck all that, we've got to get on with these..." Luke 26: 19

Um ...or maybe that was Pink Floyd... :)

Take care Mel. The important people love you and know the truth. Fuck everyone else.

9:46 PM  
Blogger Badpatty said...

Good for you, gal! I know that there's one hell of a story behind this, and I'm just glad that you seem to have your head screwed on right. I'm cracking up, though, thinking of the new adult board game: Finding My Happiness! Hell, I'd buy it.

11:13 PM  
Blogger Benjamin said...

At the end of the day, you're still one of the most sense-making people I know, and I'm glad that you're not letting any petty people or remarks convince you otherwise.

We gotta take the power back, yo!

3:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am not a wise man, nor am I equipped to debate philosophy. I am neither particularly bright, nor do I usually understand the inner workings of intense contemplative thought.

However, what I am, is in fact a certified bad ass giant who owns a really big fucking axe. Point me in the right direction oh Melicious one, and I shall cleave.

"Head Smash!!!"

1:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, how can you say
I go about things the wrong way
I am human and I need to be loved
Just like everybody else does

2:33 PM  
Blogger peachy said...

It's SO not worth it to even stress about others and their opinions.

'I'm not prejudice. I hate everyone.' That's my favorite sticker on my motorcycly helmet. Feel free to use it anytime.

I do hope you find your happiness. :)

12:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We sinners rock the fuck out. *throws a gang sign*

5:54 PM  
Blogger MomMega: mothersmilkblog.com said...

Vero: Nope, not torturing any small animals...just annoying people!

Grace: Everything that comes out of your mouth sounds dirty! That's why I like you!

Larry: Oh, I meant that everyone can sleep around EXCEPT Larry...I like to think of you as pure and untouched *snort*

Nina: You can ALWAYS come with! Especially if I can get you all liquored up! I love drunk Nina!

YB: I know, right? Don't they know that I already know everything??? Idiots!!

Ian: Hmmm...I will have to ask about that scripture the next time I am in church (huh? can you imagine me interrupting a wedding or a funeral for that?). I love ya, honey. I am soooo getting your name tattoed on my booty!

Fishy: Exactamundo! I hate it, too!

Patty: Once I creat the game, you will get the first edition (wow, I could make money off this...)

Ben: Right on...ummm...who are we taking the power from? Lemme know and I will get right on it!

Head: Sweet! I have a list for you when you come to Cali for your Hunnymoon! Bring your axe!

Jack: I think I love you...will you marry me and sing Morrisey to me all day?

Ropemonkey: I hear there is big $$$ in Alpacas...maybe I should look into that!

Peachy: I am definitely going to use that!

Monster: Yes, yes we do. And we sure have a helluva time doing it!

9:42 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home