Monday, October 03, 2005

No, Really...I'm Fine...

I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. I have hit some sort of wall. I have nothing interesting to write about, no inspiration in any way.

I'm in a funk.

Plus, on top of everything else, I find myself slipping back into that "paranoid and extremely insecure girl" role that I thought I had left behind for good. And I have no reason to. I guess I am so used to certain things happening at a certain point of a relationship, or used to certain behaviors, that I feel it is just inevitable that it will happen again.

I know that this wrong and that it isn't fair. But I feel like I need to brace myself for the blow. Ironically enough, it is probable that my bracing will actually cause the blow. While I am so busy being paranoid, I am pushing away the person that I love.

How stupid am I?