Saturday, May 28, 2005


"You make me want to be a better man" - Melvin Udall, As Good As it Gets

I've heard this quote many times, as I am sure many of us have. But I don't think I have ever really understood it until now. I heard someone use this quote to describe how "You" make them feel. All I can say is, I concur. Not that I want to be a better man, but a better person. For You. I don't want to disappoint You. Or hurt You. Or upset You. Ever. I've fucked up a lot of things in my life. I've hurt a lot of people. But I don't want to do that ever again. Especially not to You. It's a new feeling for me. I like it. Alot.

You know who You are!

Friday, May 27, 2005

Graduating is Cool!

My cousin graduated from college yesterday. You know us; we can't have a small little celebration with the family. Nooooooo!! After the ceremony, we all headed over to PF Changs. Oh, if it were only that simple.

First of all, between 11 people, we had about 15 cars. What??? There was some major maneuvering and car-hopping going on. People were being followed, people were being dropped off, people were trading cars left and right. Leave it to us Mexicans to never do anything the easy way. So after about an hour of all the ins and outs and parking and moving, we all finally get to the restaurant. By this time, we've all earned ourselves a sparkly beverage. Ooooh yeah! That's right, it was a Champers day! My favorite. My cousin and I each had a couple of splits. Then we decided that it would probably be more cost-effective to just order a bottle. So we did. Then we ordered another one. Mmmm..."Tiny Bubbles..."

Because my family never does anything half-assed, we ordered enough food to feed a small village for three years. It was madness! Other customers were blatantly staring open-mouthed at our table. Plates were flying, noodles were being flung, scallops and shrimp were flying off the table. You would’ve thought that we hadn’t eaten in about ten years!

After we had finished stuffing ourselves, those that were left all hopped in a van and went back to Huntington. The family dropped my cousin and I off at her place, where we promptly popped the bottle of champagne that I brought into her fridge to chill. Hmmm…what should we do while we are waiting? I know! Let’s go downtown and have a drink! Sweet!

Seeing as how it was such a lovely day, we went to Chimayo to sit outside. We decided to stick with the champagne, as it had been working out well for us so far and there was no point in risking the chance of getting sick by switching. So we sat outside and drank our champers and started talking with some of the other people out there. My cousin was telling everyone why we were celebrating. Next thing I know, one of the guys is offering to buy us a bottle of champagne. Sweet! My cousin tells him to just order the cheap stuff. This guy must’ve had major issues. He bought us a bottle of Dom Perignon!!! My hero!

We polish off the bottle and head over to HB Brewery with these guys. Oh, also, these guys were all waiting for their wives to come and meet up with them! Nice! Once we got there, we all ordered an assload of food. Again! But I felt like I hardly ate anything. Next thing I know, the bill is being presented, one of the guys pays it and then POOF! They are all gone. Just my cousin and I again.

By this time I was soooo tired, I just wanted to go home and sleep. I had called my Honey to come and get me. He showed up, we hung out for a while and then he whisked me off to In and Out before tucking me in. Where I proceeded to have wonderful, bubbly dreams. I wish my cousin would graduate every month!

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Stir Crazy

I was walking into the employee caf to fill my water bottle, when what do I see??? AN ASSLOAD OF MARSHMALLOWS!!! Can you say "Heaven"??? I looooooove me some 'mallows! I shoved four down my throat, took five for the road and am about to go back in and polish them off.

I am listening to's "I Love the 80's" station. They just played "Tainted Love". In case you wanted to know, that is the second 45 I ever owned. The first was "Eye of the Tiger", which I like to now refer to as "Eye of the Liger". It is so much cooler. And for the record, Talk Talk performed "It's My Life" sooooo much better than that talentless skank Gweeeeeeen. Blech.

Is it just me, or is Yoj just beyond smokin' hot???? Seriously, every time I see a comment from her, she's smiling right at me. I know what she's thinking, too. She's thinking "Hey there you doin'? No really. I am here, just waiting for you. I've got a nice cold Amstel here with your name on it. Why don't you sit down and we'll eat dark chocolate together?" *Rowr*

Going to the movies tonight. Either seeing Crash or Layer Cake. We want to see both, so we are going to flip a coin to decide. I know that Grace LOVED Layer Cake...but I don't know where in non-artsy OC it is playing without having to drive to Irvine. And The Boy will have to be up at the butt crack of dawn, so I can't keep him out too late (although I'll try to keep him up! Dirty!) I guess we'll end up seeing Crash. Oooooh...YB's Girlfriend Sandra is in that movie.

I suppose I'll get back to work now...I'll be sure to spoil the movie for you tomorrow!

Tuesday, May 24, 2005


Go visit Bob and vote for me as the greatest invention ever!! Hey! What do I get if I win???

Fucking Larry!!

Three names I go by:
1. Melanee
2. Mel
3. Mel Mega

Three screen names that I have had:
1. Mel Mega
2. Princess Mel
3. Felanee

Three things I like about myself:
1. my sweet ass (gonna have to stick with Larry on this one!)
2. my incredible memory
3. my sense of humor

Three things I don't like about myself:
1. my short legs
2. my slobiness
3. my big hands

Three parts of my heritage:
1. Mexican
2. French
3. German

Three things that scare me:
1. spiders
2. moths
3. falling

Three of my everyday essentials:
1. food
2. water
3. chapstick

Three things I am wearing right now:
1. black thong
2. black bra
3. fuzzy grey sweater

Three of my fave bands or musical artists:
1. Descendents
2. The Beatles
3. Tom Jones

Three physical things that attract me to the opposite sex:
1. sense of humor
2. smile
3. attitude

Three places I want to go on vacation:
1. St. John
2. Hawaii
3. Italy (again!)

Three new things I want to try in the next 12 months:
1. skydiving
2. rock climbing
3. girl-on-girl action (Hee! Just for Shawn!)

Three things I just can't do:
1. whistle
2. pop a zit
3. wear pants with words across the ass

Three things I want to do before I die:
1. write a book
2. fill my passport
3. be famous (other than in my own mind)

Three celeb crushes:
1. Christian Bale
2. Clive Owen
3. Carmen Electra

I don't know who to tag!! Who hasn't done this yet??? Any ideas???

Fashion Tip of the Day

Unless you are twelve (or have the ass of a twelve-year-old), please DO NOT wear pants or shorts with words across your ass!! When your ass is that ginormous, you are supposed to be drawing attention away from it! And no, we don't think you are young and hip when you wear them. We know that you are 47 and having a mid-life crisis, but trying to cover it up by wearing your twelve-year-old daughter's clothes that are two times too small for you!! Gah! Just put on a pair of Uggs while you're at it!


Okay, so I am over the Pity Party. Debbie Downer does not live here anymore (Wah-wah). After my last post I spent an hour on the phone with my friend Laurie. I miss her. She lives in St. John (rough, I know). But she has a way of putting everything in perspective. She rules. Also, total bonus, Cat called me!! I know, right? How cool is she??? She made me giggle and made my drive home fly by. Thanks, Honey, I appreciate your concern.

Then I hung out with my parents. My mom made me s'ghetti. Mmmmm...Binky's s'ghetti!! Binky also has a way of putting things in perspective. And she gives good hugs.

I topped my evening off with several beers with friends. All in all, it made the events of that afternoon seem unimportant.

My Saturday was busy!! I had two weddings and a banquet! But everything ran pretty smooth. I was able to get everything going and head on over to Steve and Grace's (although we were late and The Boy and I both felt really bad). But I made it up to them by letting Steve beat me at 90's Edition Trivial Pursuit. I am such a giver! Steve and Grace made us yummy food and provided the Champers. wonder I love them so much. They really know the way to a girl's heart!

On Sunday I got to start my day with an All American Waffle (blueberries, strawberries and bananas w/whipped cream) and a Mimosa. Heaven! We had all intentions of going to the movies, but we were easily distracted by a BBQ. I hate when that happens!

And then yesterday I finally cleaned up my disgusting apartment. Now everything is shiny and clean and smelling fresh. I love coming home to that.

So, I am over the events of last week. Sometimes it takes something like that to make you look around and appreciate what you do have. And I know that I do have good friends that care about me (both in "real" life and online). I have met a wonderful boy that brings out the best in me and makes me laugh. And I have good family that will hug me and make me s'ghetti when I feel sad. All in all, I am pretty darn lucky! And I am determined not to let anyone ruin it for me.

Friday, May 20, 2005

Mega Bitch

I think you should all stop being my friends. I am truly a horrible person. And an even worse friend. I am a monster. I have no morals. No ethics. I just ruin people's lives and suck them dry. It's a miracle that I have had any friends for this long.

Apparently everyone who has ever known me just thinks I am rotten. My sins are endless. All I do is hurt people. And when someone tries to point out my personal flaws, I just can't handle it. So if you know me, run. If you think that you want to know me, run. I will chew you up and spit you out and leave you for dead.

Monday, May 16, 2005

Weekend Update

Well, as I am sure you can already guess, I had some cocktails yesterday. Just a little...hee hee. But if I may, I would like to say a few things about Saturday first.

So Saturday was Weenie's 30th birthday party. I had wanted to plan her a bad ass surprise party, but I got shut down. Whatever. Anyway, her sister-in-law planned her a very lovely pool party. Unfortunately, it started at 3pm and I had to work. So I didn't even get there until about 7:30. And I have never felt more uncomfortable in my entire life. And these were with people that are supposed to be my friends. I guess when everyone is knee-deep in marriage and kids, they really have no interest in anything else. I felt like because of my "situation" nobody felt like they had anything to talk to me about. Nobody stepped up and asked me how I was or about my job or even if there were any good books I've read lately. Nothing. Nada. Since I really had nothing to contribute in regards to marriage, kids, or buying a house, I was pretty much closed out of the group. When did my friends turn into such squares? They used to be fun. Now they are so serious. I am also pretty offended by the fact that none of my friends feel like they can talk to me. Is it true that at some point in our life we grow so far from our friends that we can't find our way back? I really feel that way. When I really needed someone to lean on, did my friends that I have known more than half my life step up and help me? Nope. Not at all. My cousin was there for me. And as odd as it sounds, Grace was really the only other person who was there. And I've known her less than a year! Anyway, enough on that topic. Fuck em. Who needs em? you may know, Sunday is my Funday! And I think it was pretty darn close to perfect. It started with a lovely breakfast. I made Mimosas and The Boy made me the best French Toast I have ever eaten. Ever! We sat in the sun and drank and ate and drank some more. I watched the boys play whiffle ball in the alley. I watched JD make the catch of a lifetime! Then I watched JD take the fall of a lifetime. He went down like an elephant at the circus. Dust cloud and everything. I thought I was going to pee my pants from laughing soooo hard. It definitely made my weekend.

JD suggested nice cold beer, so we moved on to that. My cousin showed up and we relaxed and drank. Mmmmm...then we went to meet up with some of their friends. We sat outside and chatted and drank some more. We finally decided that we were hungry and went back to the house. As we are getting into a cab, I didn't duck my head low enough. You guessed it. Huge lump on the back of my head. Damn it. Always with the drunken injuries! Doesn't matter, it was still the best day ever.

Now I am sitting here watching a two-hour Anderson Cooper special. My week has peaked and it's only Monday! Sweet!

Sunday, May 15, 2005

I Was a Liar

I recently lied...A BIG LIE. I made the mistake of telling certain individuals that I broke up with one Jordan Londeree in eighth grade for the soul reason that he was a bad kisser. I am here now to set the record straight. It's just not true. In my naivete, I think that I just thought that he was a bad kisser. I wasn't looking at that big picture. Obviously. I wasn't looking at the fact that JD would eat his Wheaties and grow up to be big and strong. I wasn't looking at the fact that one day, JD would save my life (by introducing me to the BEST guy. Ever.) I couldn't have been more wrong.

The honest truth is that, I was a shaky kisser at best. When JD and I shared an intimate moment, Shakespeare could not have written a better kiss. Yes, we were young. However, that kiss was amazing. And apparently it was my own inexperience that made the kiss seem "bad". However, now I know that JD was ahead of his time. I was not ready for him. Plus, he is an amazing individual as well. He has an insight into people that I never thought possible.

Of course, JD thinks my name is Emily, but that's coooooool.

P.S. This message has been brought to you by Champagne, Amstel Light and the guiding hand of JD.

P.S.S. Nothing in the above statement should be discounted whatesoever. JD is honestly the best guy ever....any single girls out there??? He needs a decent woman so we can go out and party as a foursome!

P.P.S.S. He is an amazing kisser, I just didn't know any better at the time. I have also heard he can "eat a peach for hours"!!!

Saturday, May 14, 2005

I'm a Bad Girl!

Get your head out of the gutters! I don't mean it that way! Well, not for the sake of this post anyway. I am bad because I haven't been able to keep up with all my friends. My friends that I love the most. And I miss you all terribly! So, don't think I have abandoned you. Work has just been extremely hectic. But I still love you, and I hope you all still love me (CAT!).

In other news...Not to be too graphic, but I have a disgusting bug bite...ON MY ASS!!! Okay, so it's not really on my ass, just below it. But it hurts. It hurts to sit down. It hurts when my jeans rub against it. It just fuckin' HURTS!! And it is kind of changing color. I think I might die. I am slowly being poisoned. I just know it. I can feel the venom flowing through my veins. In order to live, I may have to amputate. Will you still love me if I only have one leg?

Also, I am the happiest girl I have ever been. Ever. Isn't it amazing how you get to a low point and you think you will never get out of it...and one day something snaps and you realize that things do get better. And you are entitled to feel a certain way. And to be treated a certain way. And to not be treated that way is a horrible thing. Yup. I've OD'd on the self-help books. But that's okay. Because I feel wonderful. And just when I thought I couldn't feel any more wonderful, I met someone who makes me feel incredible. Incredible. Is this what I've been missing out on all this time? I wasn't kidding when I said before that I was on Cloud Nine. There really is no other way to describe it. Actually, I am like a geeky 15-year-old. I giggled the other day. Giggled. WTF? I don't giggle. I guffaw. I chortle. I snort. I sure as hell don't giggle. The worst part. I didn't even care who heard it. GAH! It is so sweet, I am going to make myself barf!!

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Me? Really!??!

"P.S. You are captivating (in every sense)"

Best compliment. Ever!

If you need me, I'll be up on Cloud Nine.