GOT IT!!

I am a freakin' genius!! Figured it out! All taken care of! Color me relieved! Gotta go now. End of the month and I gotta hound all my clients for their contracts. Love you!!

HELP!! IDEAS NEEDED IMMEDIATELY!!

Okay, I need your brains. I desperately need $1500 that I don't have. How can a nice girl (by nice I mean no sex, drugs or stripping - at least not for money) make a little extra cash??

I have a couple of things that I could put up on E-bay, but I'm not quite sure how that will work out. I don't really have time to get another job, unless it is in a bar. Oh, and I lack any sort of restaurant experience. Damn. What the fuck does a girl have to do make some extra money?

So I am putting it out to you guys. You are all smart, creative, inventive people. Do you have any ideas? C'mon! Don't disappoint me! Help a Sistah out!

(Note: Borrowing from the Fam is pretty much out of the question, as they are a bunch of broke-ass Mo-Fo's like me)

Skanks

So...Grace gave a nice recap of part of my weekend. But she forgot to mention that one of those skanky whores kept hitting on Honey RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!!! How tacky is that!?!? And it wasn't like she didn't know that we were together. It was mentioned to her. Plus...we were together!! Did she really think that her ugly, Wal-mart-denim-skirt-wearing ass had a chance? Against me? WTF??? Hee hee...I am such a bitch.

I did behave very well, though, all things considered. The fingers in the food thing really got to me. As did the fork. When one of the girls was using her fork to scoop pasta salad on to her plate, Honey tells her "You know, there's a spoon right there..." Hee hee. He rules.

The thing is, my cousin and I had gone to the store and bought an assload of food. Enough for everyone that we thought was going to be at the BBQ. Then, these other people show up and they all expect to be fed! Who does that? We only had enough meat for 8 hamburgers. Skanky Slut #1 goes up to Honey (who is grilling the burgers) and says "You know, I really want one without cheese." He doesn't even turn his head, just keeps putting cheese on every single burger! I think I love that man!

So, we are finally sitting eating our food (while SS#1 is huffy on the couch because she didn't get a burger - hee) and the ketchup was sitting in front of me. A normal person with any sort of manners or class, would politely ask me to hand them the ketchup. Ummm...yeah. SS #2 just reaches right in front of me to grab the ketchup, spilling my beer all over poor Jimmy. I didn't yell, just made a few comments about how I could have handed her the ketchup (dripping with sarcasm, of course). I then made a comment about Jimmy getting pulled over and smelling of beer. SS #2 says "Oh well, I didn't drive..." I told her we weren't talking to her anyway, and Jimmy says "And I don't think your name is Jimmy."

GAH!! I hate fucking idiots. AND SOMEONE PLEASE GET THAT GIRL A DAMN COMB!!!

The Moral High Road

“…He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone…” John 8:7

Now, you all know that I am not a very religious person, but lately this piece of scripture has been floating in my thoughts. Last time I checked, we were all human. As humans, none of us are perfect. We all make mistakes. We all make bad decisions. We all hurt other people, either accidentally or intentionally, sometimes both. At least once or twice during the day, I am reminded of my imperfections. I thought that most people were. I was horribly wrong.

I am amazed at the number of people that have nothing better to do than sit and ponder the imperfections of their fellow beings. People who feel that they have a right to meddle in other’s personal affairs, who think that they know a better way to live that person’s life. Perhaps they feel that it is their moral obligation to step in and correct the actions of a lost soul. It makes them feel good about themselves. Makes them feel charitable. And perhaps it even makes any guilt that they feel for previous wrongdoing just melt away. It makes it easier for them to look at themselves in the mirror in the morning, because, damn it, they have set a Sinner straight. And even if they have not come in direct contact with said Sinner, they have made sure that those around the Sinner are fully aware of the actions, sins and mistakes of the Sinner. It is their duty, their right as a morally superior person.

Never mind that more often than not, the path of getting the word out there is often filled with devious action and petty backstabbing. That doesn’t matter, as long as the message is out there and the “S” is branded.

Here is what I don’t understand: Yes, it’s true, I am not perfect. But you know what? I never claimed to be. I just want the people that I love and care for to be happy. Even though I may not agree with all of your decisions and the way you live your life, I will not say anything to you, or anybody else, about it (unless it is seriously self-destructive and professional help is necessary). If you want to sleep around, go ahead! Want to quit school to raise llamas? More power to you, I hope that makes you happy! You are an adult and perfectly capable of making your own decisions. Only you know how to make yourself happy and at the end of the day, you only have to answer to yourself (or God if you are religious). Who the fuck am I to determine what you should or should not be doing? Who the fuck am I to decide that your decisions are bad and fuck your happiness, you need to do the “right” thing? Who the fuck am I to decide what the “right” thing is?!?!

Part of making a mistake is learning from it. Picking yourself up, looking around you with fresh eyes and deciding to get out and try again to do your best. In the past year and a half, I have learned so much about myself and relationships and other people. And not just about the other person in the relationship. I learned about how other people react to the idea of imperfection. The idea that being in a relationship does not automatically equal happiness. And that moving on and finding that happiness scares other people. Because that means that everything that society has told them will make them happy, may not. That they might fuck up, that they might make a mistake.

Today my mother reminded me that I had previously told her that I would not let the actions or opinions of other people stand in the way of my happiness. I was wounded and forgot all about that. But I am back on track. So if anyone disagrees with how I live my life, please keep your opinions and comments to yourself. I’m not going to hear it, because I will be out finding my happiness. I hope you can someday find the courage to do the same.

My Two Cents...

First off, let me start by saying that NoCal knows how to party. Actually, they know how to pah-tay! Color this girl impressed!

I think it’s funny that Terra said that Grace and I act like sisters. Hee. After spending 16,000 hours in the car together, we were saying the same things at the same time and finishing each other's sentences. What can I say…Grace completes me.

And for the record, I am pretty sure that my family would be happy to take Grace in and boot me out. Only she will have to work on her tolerance a little. There’s no room in my family for a lightweight! Don’t worry, Grace…we’ll work on it together.

Also, Grace failed to mention that we both spent ALL our cash on the FIRST night. Geesh! You’d think we’d never been out before. It was like blowing your entire allowance on gummy bears and sweet-tarts. It was fun while it lasted, but you wake up the next day with a tummy ache and an empty wallet. Sucks, man.

I seriously gained about 7 pounds on this trip. We pretty much ate non-stop. I tried to drink non-stop as well, seeing as how I wasn’t driving. At several points during the trip, I was so full and so bloated that I had to undo the top button on my jeans. Gross! Don’t tell anyone I told you that.

Also, Grace and I TOTALLY could’ve served those girls. I was ready. I had my moves figured out, I totally wanted to battle. But no. Grace would have none of it. Damn her! If it had been Friday night, she would’ve been over there faster than you could say “White Peach Martini”!! But I promise that Sober Grace is just as fun as Drunk Grace. DG is just a little more uninhibited than SG…that’s all I’m saying.

The cab drivers in SF must think we are completely nuts! In the course of two short cab rides we covered such diverse subjects (most of which Grace has already covered). So I will just leave it at that.

And Terra has the BEST laugh…and so much damn hair!! I hate her! She has like three times as much hair as me! Not fair!

And I am not as short as it would appear that I am in the pictures with Duckie. I swear I was standing in a HUGE pothole! Really.

And Cindy likes to take pictures with everyone…bouncers, statues, whatnot. She rules.

Thank god (who hates me and Grace, by the way) that I had a nice detox trip planned. I floated in the pool, slept in, watched movies, drank an assload of water and shopped. Ahhh…you have no idea how much I wanted a beer and a P-Funk!! Does that mean I have a problem?

Detox is a Bitch!

Oh. My. God. That was the best vacation. Ever. I already know that I am getting Steve if Grace dies, but now I need to make sure that I get Grace if Steve dies (I am soooo greedy!). She and I were meant to be.

Grace did conveniently leave a few things out. I will fill you in later. Right now I have 143 emails and about 10 thousand phone messages to get through. As soon as I am done, I'll fill you all in. I miss you!!

P.S. I think I still smell like garlic and alcohol...is that bad?

"I Don't Wanna Close My Eyes..."

So last night my phone rings and seeing how it was a number I didn't recognize, I didn't pick it up. Turns out it was my mom, Binky, and she asked me to call her as soon as I got the message. So I called her back, preparing to hear some bad news (she is in northern CA because my grandmother just had surgery). Instead, she is telling me that there was an earthquake off the coast of CA and that there was a tsunami warning in effect and that I needed to get to high ground and stay away from the beach.

Now I just happened to be at Honey's house catching up on Entourage (mmmm...Adrian Grenier...where was I?). His house that is a few blocks away from the ocean. Sweet! The tsunami was scheduled to hit, if it were going to hit, at 10pm (can I just take a minute here and ask you all exactly how the tsunami got it's itinerary to the media so fast...it was just born and bam! already getting the info out in a timely manner). So we waited until just before 10 and went down to the beach.

I was all pumped up to stand on the edge of the ocean all "Tea Leoni" style and wait for the huge, ginormous wave to come crashing down on me and snap me like twig. And I couldn't get that damn Aerosmith song outta my head. Sons of whores!

So, we walk down there...and nothing. happened. period.

How anti-climatic. Hmmph! Oh well...back to my boring life...

P.S. I'm sorry, did I completely miss some crazy trend here? This is the second time in about a week that someone in my office has worn purplish tights to work. I mean, ewww.

Sshhhh!

Don't tell anyone...but I might get Grace drunk this weekend and try to take advantage of her...tee hee!

What Blogger Am I?

Okay, okay I am still alive (but very badly burned, hee) and I am updating my Blog, so now everyone can quit speculating on where I have gone (nowhere) and when I will be back.
I wish that I had exciting tales to tell you of my whereabouts (kidnapped by pirates off the coast of Tahiti would be a great tale), but unfortunately it is just not that exciting. Work has been eating my soul, or at least trying to. And I have found that when not at work, beer seems to take up a good portion of my life (not that there's anything wrong with that).
Went to a bar on Saturday night called House of Hayden in Long Beach and was promptly put in my place, as obviously my hip factor greatly failed to match that of the "cool" people inside (what with my lack of a faux-hawk). Felt like a shabby little girl in her non-Seven For All Mankind jeans. How much effort do these people put in to their "look" do you think? Or is it no effort at all and I am just so greatly lacking in style or taste that I must go to Gap and study the mannequins or else I would never be able to dress myself properly. Could be.
Rented a few movies last week also, including The Aviator, Coffee and Cigarettes, and Bad Education (mmmm...I loves me some Gael Garcia Bernal). Aviator was...okay, Leo was great, but I really would've liked to get more into Howie's illness as opposed to his business (JD says this is because I am a girl and everybody knows that girls have bad taste in movies), but I am not sorry that I rented it. Coffee and Cigarettes was a bad rental, with the exception of the skit involving Meg and Jack White (who for some reason I am strangely attracted to, both of them) and the skit with Bill Murray and Wu Tang. These two skits do not, however, provide ample enough reason to rent this movie. Just don't. Bad Education was really good (and I am not just saying that because of GGB), but I messed up by renting the R-rated version (Blockbuster is just so right wing) and not the un-rated version, which, when told by me it was a great movie, my friend actually did go out and rent (quite a shock to her with all the sex, that I never got to see, and now she thinks I am a bit pervy, which I am, but she which she does so not need to know).
Saw Cinderella Man last night, which was your typical Hollywood "feel good" about good triumphing over evil, the man beating the system and such (sometimes I like it when the protaganist takes a good beating). Paul Giamatti was hands-down the best thing about this movie. In light of his recent receiving-of-the-shaft by the Academy, he better get all the needed recoginiton for this film (or heads will roll).
Also, Peter Forsberg has stated that he would like to come back and play with the Avs if the new salary cap will allow him to (do you hear that, muthas?) and that makes me as happy as a little girl (wait...I AM a little girl...nevermind).
That's all for now, must go and meet friends for Shabu Shabu Happy Hour with large Sapporos. Remember, everytime you point a finger, you've got three pointing back at you.