Thursday, July 28, 2005

Wednesday: The Good, The Bad and The Fucking Hot!!

Wednesday could be the worst day and the best day all at once. I have never been so up and down in one day before.

It all started out fine. Had my new favorite breakfast in the whole wide world (Egg Mitt from Noah's Bagels: egg and cheddar on a plain, slightly toasted bagel). Drove to work, not much traffic.

Get to work and get busy. Get an email about a recpetion for a manager leaving. Know what that means? Drinks at 4:30! YES!

Lunchtime: food not so bad...a few minutes later...the worst stomach ache. Ever. Grrrr!

4:30 comes around and I am happily getting ready to leave and quivering with the anticipation of seeing Shirley in just a few short hours! I turn off my lamp as usual and turn to walk away. The damn lamp attacks me from behind! Before I know what is happening, I am being whacked on the back of my a heavy goddamn lamp!! I yelled and stumbled around my office a bit. No one even reacts, so I make a little more noise. Still, no one even asks if I'm okay. *sigh* I dramatically exit my office and announce that I will, hopefully, see everyone tomorrow, if I haven't died as a result of a head injury in the middle of the night. All the assistants cross their fingers.

After pigging out on brie and chocolate covered strawberries, I dash out and start to head over to Grace and Steve's place. On the way there, I call my dad because I haven't talked to him and I wanted to update him about my car and what-not. At first it is normal talky-talky. Then it turns into a beat-down! For a good 15 minutes I hear a big lecture about certain choices I am currently making and, basically, why they are wrong. And that, basically, I need to not be greedy and just move on. I can not even defend myself. I am so caught off guard! I burst into tears and call my mom. All of my frustration and stress surfaces and I spend an additional 15 minutes crying in my car (in front of Grace's place).

I finally compose myself and head upstairs. Ahhh...What is waiting for me there? DINO NUGGETS AND TOTS!!! I fucking love, love, love Grace. Oh! And Steve hands me a nice, cool beverage. They are the best. Within minutes I am feeling sooooo much better!! So much better, in fact, that I happily pose for duuurrrty pics!

The time has finally come to go see Shirley...But first! We must stop and eat fried Twinkies and Oreos. Good god were they delish!! Grace wrote a great wrap-up of the concert, so I will just send you there. She did forget to mention, however, the NASTY "Margarita" (if you can call it that) that we made the mistake of ordering. Tasted like Kool-Aid without the sugar. BLECH!!

So to summarize my Wednesday: head injuries, lots of crying, dino nuggets and tots, Steve's drinks, fried twinkies and oreos, nasty margarita, SHIRLEY, SHIRLEY, OH YEEEEESSSSS SHIRLEY!!!

I guess all's well that ends well....

HNT: Yippee Skippee!!

Always the gracious host, Grace once again decides to make sure that all her guests are comfortable, relaxed and having a good time. God I love visiting her!

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Major Suckage

So you want to know what sucks, huh? I'll tell ya. Having to unexpectedly buy a "new" car when you are a broke ass MoFo like me.

You want to know what sucks even more? Realizing that your big CD case that was in your old car is gone. Pfft! Stolen. By an unknown source. No more CD's.

On the other hand...Tonight is Shirley Manson night. I can barely contain my excitement!!! Can you imagine the euphoria I will be feeling at seeing Shirley...with Grace?!?! Ahhhh...Heaven. I hope I get to see her chonies (Shirley's...not Grace's...I've already seen her's...)!!!

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Simple Math

Mel + Grace + 2 bottles of Sangiovese = This Picture

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Thursday Again!?!?

Grubby little toes...and grubby little toe marks on my Rainbows. Honey bought me those. He hated my other flip flops. Funny boy.

I need a pedi so that I can convince him to suck my toes...mmmm...toe sucking...

Wednesday, July 20, 2005


Could this be Heaven? Quite possibly...add a bottle of champagne and it's pretty darn close!


Walking into a public restroom and seeing "dribble" on the toilet is gross. Especially in a professional environment. There is just no reason that an adult should dribble on the toilet. But there is something worse.

On the seat.


Who the hell does this??? And why the fuck didn't they wipe it up? I swear...this world is filled with filthy people. I'm at a loss...

Thursday, July 14, 2005

HNT...Might As Well....

I need some time to work on this concept...


Has this day really come? Am I really going to get my hockey back? I'm afraid to get too excited, that it is just a teaser...but everything seems to be okay. This could be the happiest day of my entire life...

*tears of joy sliding down my cheeks*

Saturday, July 09, 2005

Tee Hee

Both YB and Steve referred to David Boreanaz as "Yummypants"...Cat and I rule!

Hmm...Me? Quirky? Nah!!!

You Are Sam From "Benny & Joon."

You are very talented at physical comedy. People are in awe of your abilities. However, you have many quirks which can either win people over or completely annoy them. But you're a sweetheart through and through, and it's hard not to love you.

Take The Johnny Depp Quiz!

Friday, July 08, 2005


I hope you are available this weekend. My Honey is going camping in Mexico this weekend. He says that if he goes to Mexican jail, he is going to call me to supply the Mexican in? Let's do this!

Aggressions and Apologies

Dear Sun:
I know that you hate me, but I’m not sure why. Can we make peace? I know that you refuse to come out when I am off work for the day, but I am hoping that we can get past that. Please come out on Sunday and Monday. I need to fix my tan lines.
Dear Hair:
I am so sorry that you have split ends and roots. I will try to repair the damage soon. Please don’t hate me.
Dear Chris Martin:
I love, love, love you for the song “Fix You” on your new album. I almost cry every time I hear it. Does that make me gay?

Dear Cousin:
Sometimes when you are sad, a little friendly lap dance will cheer you up.
Dear McDonalds:
Thank you very much for Sausage McMuffins. They are warm and delicious and I love them so very much.
Dear Butt and Thighs:
Please pay no attention to the previous letter. I am only eating fruit and salad and drinking water in an effort to make you smooth and muscular. Now please help me out and GET TONED!! (I’m sorry I yelled. I love you, I promise)

Dear Honey:
Thank you for the **** last night. It was just what I needed. You are the BEST and I don’t deserve you. But I’ll take you anyway!!
Dear Red Jetta Driver:
You are so lucky that you do not have to go to work. I am very jealous. However, this does not mean that it is okay for you to drive 40 MPH in the goddammn fast lane. Get it? Good. Now get the hell outta my way!
Dear City of Garden Grove:
Why do you hate me? What did I do to offend you? Whatever it is, I’m sorry! Now please stop making me hit every single fucking red light on my way to work!! And please stop doing construction on every single fucking street that I drive down. I just want to get to work and back home in less than 4 hours. Is that too much to ask?
Dear PA:
I’m sorry that you are fat and have a large ass. I’m sorry that you have a horrible personality and that no one likes you. I’m sorry that you feel that you are so much better than the rest of us because you have a super-sized Louis Vuitton. I’m sorry that when you wear white pants, we can all see your cellulite. Shit, I’m sorry that you wear white pants at all. I’m sorry that you blame everybody else for your failure and take no responsibility. I’m sorry that when it comes down to it, you are just lazy and insecure. But most of all, I’m sorry that I know you.
Dear Powers-That-Be:
Thank you, thank you, thank you…for putting David Boreanaz back on TV. I love you.

Saturday, July 02, 2005


Everybody have a toast to Cat and Shawn tonight beacause...THEY'RE MARRIED!!!! (Mallied? Yes! Mallied!)
P.S. Have two toasts because it is also Cindy's birthday!! Happy Birthday, Sweetie!

Friday, July 01, 2005

All I Want...

Grace. It's what's for dinner.


I made it! Woot! It's a new month, new quarter, etc...I am sooooo happy!

So Grace and I must have some sort of psychic connection! Like her, I too got drunk off of cheap wine last night (I told you we were meant to be together, Grace!). Actually I got a nice buzz off of a good bottle of wine, then proceeded to get drunk off the cheap stuff.

It all started very nice. Honey took me out to one of my favorite Italian Restaurants (Roman Cucina) to celebrate me making my quota (yippee!). We had a lovely and delicious dinner and bottle of Chianti. on the way home, we decide to stop and get beverages. We were going to get beer, but decided to stick with wine. Me, being the label whore that I am (yeah, right), pick up a bottle of the Cakebread Cab. I see the $70 price tag and promptly replaced the bottle. Instead we went for a lovely $10 bottle of random Pinot Noir. Ugh! Fast forward about 6 hours and Mel wakes up with a cheap-wine headache. But that's okay, I popped an anti-histamine and headache gone (for those of you that don't know, red wine contains histamines, so if you ever wake up with a headache after drinking red wine, taking an allergy or sinus pill will usually get rid of it very quickly).

As I am sure you know, Saturday is the big day for Cat and The Head. Also, it is Cindy's birthday. I wish I could be in Canada with them to celebrate, but I wasn't able to make it. Instead, I will popping my own bottle of Champagne to celebrate! Of course, I will be doing this while home alone, sitting in the dark and listening to Portishead wondering why God hates me... HAHA!! Just kidding!! I would never drink Champers in the dark.

Anyway, I need to get back to work, but I wanted to tell everyone hi and I will try and check in on you all sometime today and tomorrow. Have a great Friday!

P.S. Hey Howie!! What you got on my Luna??? Mmmmmm Luuuuuuunnnnnaaa....must have more!