Hmmm...

For some reason, I feel like posting today. I dunno why...maybe because it is so quiet at work. Maybe because I feel like I have some issues that I need to work out. Maybe I jsut want to talk about how cute and funny my Baby Dog is. He is, too. He likes to wake up in the middle of the night and play until he wears himself out again. He will never wake us up, though. Although, last night I opened my eyes and his head was on my pillow and he was staring right at me. But I just told him to lay down and he did. Funny butt. Here he is looking very happy, probably thinking that he is about to score some major treat!

He has this big giant squeaky donut. Last night he kept squeaking and squeaking all around the bedroom while we were trying to watch Lost. Finally Robert took it away from him and hid it under the blankets. That worked well in theory, especially since Cash forgot about the donut and found another toy. The problem came in the middle of the night when one of us would roll over on to that stupid donut and make it squeak! Scared the beejezus outta me! Here's Cashy-Boo with his big donut:

Isn't he just the sweetest baby ever?

Still Alive!!

Hello! I just wanted to let all my Blogger Buddies out there know that I am still alive. Some of you may know as you have found me on MySpace. But I did want to post a little something on this site to say hello to all of my old friends.

So, what have I been up to? Well, as you may know the first half of this year was pretty chaotic. This entire year has brought me the lowest of lows, but also the highest of highs. The good news is that while it may have started off rotten, in many ways it ended up being the best year of my life. As previously mentioned, I met the most WONDERFUL boy in existence. He really and truly is my soulmate. I know that everything that I have had to endure has lead us to each other. I have never felt for anybody the way that I feel for him. YAY! I hope that everyone finds love like this. Here we are in Mammoth last weekend:

We are now living together in HB. On New Years Eve, we adopted the sweetest little Baby Boy. His name is Cash and he just turned 3-months old. Here he is:

He is the sweetest little guy and we love him to death!

I have also changed companies and am working on much larger events than I was before. It is a nice change and is exposing me to a lot of different issues!

I apologize for the disappearing act that I pulled. Work was getting really busy. And while I always found myself wanting to post, I was feeling guilty because I didn't have time to check in on everyone and make comments. I felt as if I was being a bad Blogger friend. But while I have some downtime in my new job, and now that I have a computer at home again, I will try and catch up. And if you are on MySpace, please send me a message!

I hope that everyone is doing well and that you all had a great holiday season. Here's to a wonderful 2006! May you all be as happy as I am (finally!)

No, Really...I'm Fine...

I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. I have hit some sort of wall. I have nothing interesting to write about, no inspiration in any way.

I'm in a funk.

Plus, on top of everything else, I find myself slipping back into that "paranoid and extremely insecure girl" role that I thought I had left behind for good. And I have no reason to. I guess I am so used to certain things happening at a certain point of a relationship, or used to certain behaviors, that I feel it is just inevitable that it will happen again.

I know that this wrong and that it isn't fair. But I feel like I need to brace myself for the blow. Ironically enough, it is probable that my bracing will actually cause the blow. While I am so busy being paranoid, I am pushing away the person that I love.

How stupid am I?

Entertainment Update

Ahhhh...I love Fall. I love the sweaters, the boots, the scarves, the food...but most of all, I love the new Fall television season!! And I could think of no better way to kick off said Fall season than a full hour of Yummypants!

That's right! Mr. Yum Yum Yummypants is coming home to Mama!!! Oh, I suppose I am happy to share him with Cat and CL...but only a little! Hee hee...Anyway, the show has received positive reviews, so that's good. Extra bit of trivia, the main character is played by the sister of Zooey Deschanel...interesting. Anyway, you all know what I will be doing at 8pm tonight!

Also starting tonight is a show called Supernatural on the WB. Can I just say that it is about time that they bring back some good friggin Sci-fi to television?!?!?! Geesh! Anyway, the show is supposed to be a bit of a mix between the X-Files and the Twilight Zone. The show is produced by McG (of the OC fame) and actually written by the college friend of the OC's creator, Josh Schwartz. From what I have read and seen online, it appears to be pretty cool! After at least two seasons of a good Sci-Fi/Horror dry spell on television, I am really looking forward to this!

So, after seeing the previews and listening to the hype, I was very excited to see the Exorcism of Emily Rose. Ummm...can you say "biggest waste of two hours since Colin Farrel put on a skirt to play Alexander"??? It was like torture. The story line was weak, it was not scary at all and if I had to hear Jennifer Carpenter's low-pitched scream for even 2 more seconds, I was going to kill someone. This movie made me want to poke myself in the eye with a dull pencil. If you are even considering the idea of checking this movie out...don't. I wouldn't even watch it on USA with commercials. Just...horrible.

One last thing, if you haven't already, run out and buy the book The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova. It is essentially the story of the search for Vlad the Impaler. But it is very detailed and such a good story. I couldn't put it down. Trust me, you won't be sorry.

Today...

...I was taking a bite of a pickle and someone made me laugh. I choked on the small piece of pickle and instead of swallowing it, it flew up towards my nose. Where it remained lodged. The pickle juice, however, did not remain lodged. Nope, the pickle juice proceeded to come out my nose. If you've never had pickle juice fly out your nose, let me tell you...It burns like a mother fucker. It made my eyes water, too! I finally coughed the stuck pickle piece out of my throat/nose. Needless to say, that pretty much ended my lunch.

Dream-Like State

First of all, can I just say how weird it is that Grace has another friend named Mel that looks just like me??? Weird, huh? In all seriousness...I can not apologize for the amount of fun that was had on Sunday night. Steve and Grace definitely throw the best get-togethers. And Steve makes the best drinks! My bags are packed and I am ready to move in!

Anyway, the other day, I was thinking about how if I had made one different choice in the last year or two, Honey and I would never have met. I said as much to him...he disagrees. Then I thought about it some more. I think he is right. I think that everything that I have done, been through, lived through, has led me to him. Call it fate, call it destiny, call it serendipity. I have never felt so sure of anything in my entire life.

I am, by nature, a very nervous, anxious person. I question everything. I stress about everything, even those things I have no control over. Honey does not have that effect on me. Ever. In fact, it is just the opposite. He is the only person I have ever met who can calm me down. With whom I can be myself completely. I don't dwell on issues, nervously think about problems that I can't solve. Nope. None of that.

Instead Honey makes me feel smart, funny and beautiful. He is the first person that I have ever been with who hasn't consistently pointed out my flaws. Or made me feel like I was lucky that I even had someone giving me the time of day. He makes me feel special. He makes me feel like I am the luckiest girl in the world, but not in a condescending way.

I feel that I have passed through the last few months in a dream. You know how sometimes in a dream, you know things are happening to you, but you are removed from the situation...you feel more like an observer than a participant. That is how I have felt. I have had some rough times this last year, harder than I expected. The last few months have also given me several rough spots. But I've made it through. I have also felt better about myself than I have in years. Happier, more enthusiastic, more stable, but most of all, more content.

I know content seems like an odd choice of words, but really that's what it is. At night when Honey's breathing starts to slow down and I know he has drifted into sleep, I am content. I am the purest form of happy that I have ever felt.

It has happened fast. We've only been together a few months. But I don't think that matters. I think that as we get older and make it through rough times and hard relationships, that we focus in on what we want and what we know will make us happy. It is so much easier to weed out the "bad" ones. And then when you meet the person that so perfectly matches what you want, you just know it. And it is easy to just fall for them so hard, so fast. Without any doubts. And that is just how I feel! I really do feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

Friday Randomness (or Friday Pity Party)

Last night while watching TV, I pointed something out with my foot. JD and Honey made the clever observation that that is something that only women can do...Of course, they then proceeded to point everything out for the next 10 minutes with their feet. It is weird. Who would've thunk!
***
Why can't I find jeans that fit me? WHY WHY WHY?!?!? I hate fashion.
***
So, I don't think that I am necessarily a spiteful person...however, I do feel that I am at my wit's end...and revenge will be sweet. Here I am, barely keeping my head above water, and that Fat Fuck is buying all new furniture and $700 suits and eating out at nice restaurants every night and going on golf trips out of state. All I can say is that he better enjoy every minute of it now...because when everything is said and done, I hope he is existing on Top Ramen. Maybe then he can lose some fucking weight and make it up the stairs without getting out of breath. Fucker.
***
You know what I just realized? When I am patronizing someone or feeling really condescending, I wrinkle my nose when I am talking to them. I've been doing it all week. Weird.
***
With the exception of Honey, I kinda hate my life right now.
***
I hate young girls. God. Just. Shut. The. Fuck. Up. Call me when you're my age and you realize that the world owes you nothing and it is filled with people that only like you for what you can give them (*blowjob*) and that it takes a lot more than a cute tank top and a low tolerance to get by in life.
***
On a positive note, the only thing better than Starbucks in the morning, is an AM quickie. I should like to start my day like that everyday from now on!!
***
I think I've spread enough sunshine here for one day. I hope you all enjoy your long weekends!